Shattered dreams lonely hysteria
Shattered dreams lonely hysteria… dying and now knowing how or why. Lost… is my soul. Fallen an I. I am empty I feel as if I have nothing left to give this world… or anyone in it. Falling pray to the despair. No one to talk to or to hold my shaking body… the only hands that touch my face to wipe the tears is my own. I have no real mother. My mind is but ravenous decay of dead thoughts and hopes. My heart shattered… broken to a piles of dust… blown away by the wind of silence. I can no longer look in the mirror with out wanting to slit my own throat. Love… lonely… lost. Never to be for I am the sacred sinner. Alone no words to comfort no one to hold me. I can find no reason to keep the faith now. No love can I give when can not give it to the one I want. Still my morals do stand or I would have fell between anothers legs… that which she did ask me to take. As many others have… but I do live my life by my morals not of the puppets and lust slaves. I want nothing of sex… but love is a truly lacking… unfelt emotion placed to far from me. Losing lost dead fled. A truly… a deity… no thoughts all is chaos every thought and natural instinct is but of my own death. Never have I felt such a calling… and maybe my feelings are right I have nothing left to give. Everyone I fall for… ends up hating me… and again leaving me alone. I have strayed far from most after one did rip my heart from my chest. I pull my nails across my face and fell my skin ripped from it.. I see the drops of blood… I can no longer endure this…
Lonely as I am. Afraid of life… of being hurt. Few say the love me but at this point I do not believe it for I am alone… a watchful eyes approaches… no it was not just a illusion of hope. What is real? For I am not just a dark nightmare in the dreams of others. I am a plague… an unwanted person in a world full of puppets. Unloved un-content. And un-mothered. I feel the chains of emotions pulling… and my body falling. I want to die. I want to taste my own blood… savor the moment till I die… then watch myself fade as I will and listen as my name is no longer called, no one remembered me. Taking hold… looking at the stars… for this shall be the last. No one cares. No fear do I have for I have nothing left… a slave to the bitter puppets. I am a man I have nothing left to give hence I have no porpoise… struggling striving when I watch others fall still I stand up. Hate… its sweet grace flowing in my mind… to tear all that sustains me to watch myself as I die… to feel the last of my passing… my white teeth rooted deep in my wrist… the crimsoned wine… feeling what.. nothing. I feel nothing I am empty. I have fell from grace… without a trace. Staring in the mirror… listing. Taking the angel that watches over me… now sustained in a rope bread across her neck. Cutting all bonds for I shall be the only one that shall savior this moment. The one fate has… I shall fall from this wall of my own dark fear. Foolish was I for ever wanting love when I can not have it. How many say they do… when tomorrow they will not. How many will cry… soon after they will not. Pulling for all I have left to hold this knife from cutting my wrist… its blade tempered with my lighter… for nothing hurts me more then heat… and soon I shall have all. For I do deserve it… no saint am I. I guess it was to be so for I was given the name of three saints… I know my mother and father did not do this on purpose for I am the failure. I have never rose to any expectations other place before me. I am me no other. I am ME. Foolish and dumb, weak dying. And soon dead……. Pain. I feel the ravenous sting of heat upon my wrist as the blade is pulled across my weak pale wrist. For I have sinned again I have polluted me ground with my blood.
Thoughts nothing more for… this how others as me do feel. We are alone. I shall never take my own life for I have pushed myself to the edge once again. If I truly wanted to I would be dead. I know I have nothing left and I am empty and unloved and I do feel alone. And I do want to die. I can not even hold anyone I love. I have not true friends I can look in the eye and talk to.
Lonely as I am. Afraid of life… of being hurt. Few say the love me but at this point I do not believe it for I am alone… a watchful eyes approaches… no it was not just a illusion of hope. What is real? For I am not just a dark nightmare in the dreams of others. I am a plague… an unwanted person in a world full of puppets. Unloved un-content. And un-mothered. I feel the chains of emotions pulling… and my body falling. I want to die. I want to taste my own blood… savor the moment till I die… then watch myself fade as I will and listen as my name is no longer called, no one remembered me. Taking hold… looking at the stars… for this shall be the last. No one cares. No fear do I have for I have nothing left… a slave to the bitter puppets. I am a man I have nothing left to give hence I have no porpoise… struggling striving when I watch others fall still I stand up. Hate… its sweet grace flowing in my mind… to tear all that sustains me to watch myself as I die… to feel the last of my passing… my white teeth rooted deep in my wrist… the crimsoned wine… feeling what.. nothing. I feel nothing I am empty. I have fell from grace… without a trace. Staring in the mirror… listing. Taking the angel that watches over me… now sustained in a rope bread across her neck. Cutting all bonds for I shall be the only one that shall savior this moment. The one fate has… I shall fall from this wall of my own dark fear. Foolish was I for ever wanting love when I can not have it. How many say they do… when tomorrow they will not. How many will cry… soon after they will not. Pulling for all I have left to hold this knife from cutting my wrist… its blade tempered with my lighter… for nothing hurts me more then heat… and soon I shall have all. For I do deserve it… no saint am I. I guess it was to be so for I was given the name of three saints… I know my mother and father did not do this on purpose for I am the failure. I have never rose to any expectations other place before me. I am me no other. I am ME. Foolish and dumb, weak dying. And soon dead……. Pain. I feel the ravenous sting of heat upon my wrist as the blade is pulled across my weak pale wrist. For I have sinned again I have polluted me ground with my blood.
Thoughts nothing more for… this how others as me do feel. We are alone. I shall never take my own life for I have pushed myself to the edge once again. If I truly wanted to I would be dead. I know I have nothing left and I am empty and unloved and I do feel alone. And I do want to die. I can not even hold anyone I love. I have not true friends I can look in the eye and talk to.
posted by Master swaV | 11:54 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home