Rain 2

Again I was bathed in the rain but this time it was from pain. My stomach turned inside out, my nerves gone, my hands shaking; the rain mixed with my tears… I still do not know which nourished the ground more nature or my emotions. My heart was almost content to the point it happened. I had both hope and a chance now all I have is hope… dim hope. Both my heart and mind are torn… my body ravaged by nerves, my fragile hands shaking… my insides shown upon the ground from my nerves… after this more has happened but this is all that haunts me and hurts. This is a pain unlike any other that I have felt… this pain runs deeper then any other… maybe even to my core. I can not hide it for I have tried… I wish not to forget but for it to me made right. They see me… they delight in my sadness. With every hand upon my shoulder and every crushing blow from the mere words “what is wrong” I still try to hide my pain. For I can give no answers with out driving the thorn deeper in my heart… I see as they watch the tears falling; huddled in a corner my stomach turned inside out. Let the have their delight for as high as they hold me I am just a man… I care what only one thinks at this point… with all of this only one thing rings constant I do love her. I know deep to my core I do; I have never felt this way about anyone, I have never asked for anything more then a chance and again starting at the stars I pray for one… this one selfish wish the same wish I have made before I ask again… it is what I want I know it is. I love you. This one rose I fear does fear my touch… I love this rose but I am but a bitter, black, dying weed. This rose has shown me love… and now it sees another flower. I know I do love this rose I truly do. Maybe it is fear that pushes this rose to the flower… maybe it is… Just the thought of her not loving me hurts. Again my insides are returned to the earth and everyone watched… these vultures with as smile cut in to their faces to see me fallen and suffering. Their adamant joy and laughter should stir my hate and rage but my sadness is to great for even my rage suffers. I want a chance… Just a chance. How can this flower change everything? Or is it because of fear… am I not to be afraid? Afraid this rose does not love me… she does not love me nor will when I see her face… that she will not want me. That all will be a regret to her. That this flower could ruin my chance… this one chance that I have wanted for so long. I truly do love you all I want is a chance… As my readers are my witness and as you are… I pray for a chance to God and to beg one from you. You mean so much to me and I thought I did to you and honestly I still do… I think you are afraid and I am too… but I know I owe it to myself to find out… as far as I can remember we have both wanted it. This one chance.